It’s so easy to love you
for your vulnerability,
and for your softness,
It’s so easy to love you
that I don’t know how to not love you.
You can’t expect people to sweep you off your feet if you don’t even make the efforts back. You can’t expect people to lessen your loneliness or emptiness when you are feeling that way and continue to dwell in it. You can’t expect people to love you when you cannot even learn to love yourself or take that extra effort to. You can’t expect people to take care of you when you refuse to take care of yourself because you’re wallowing in self-pity. You just cannot expect people to be there for you all the time and sometimes, even when the hardest battle come into play, it happens at the time when you need someone most, and nobody is there. It’ll happen at some point when you feel like you hit rock bottom, but the truth is when you’re there, the only way it up.
You have to learn to keep struggling to learn to love yourself and know that you are the strong. You have strength even when it is at its lowest without realizing it. You’re getting by day by day and that’s strength. It’s okay to feel empty and cry. It’s okay to release all your bottled up emotions and then feel better afterward. It is okay to hate yourself for a little while, but learn to take the extra effort and step to lessen that. Learn to love yourself and take care of yourself. Don’t let someone do that job for you because in the end, they’ll wind up feeling like it’s a job to do and it gets tiring taking care of someone who refuses to take care of themselves or doesn’t put the effort to. It’ll grow tiring once in a while, but you’ll get by. I promise. It’s not the end of the world, but don’t always expect things from people because you are your own strength and you are your own person. Don’t let your charm wear off by letting people love you, then run away after they realize how tiring it gets.
It gets tiring when that’s a common knowledge you should be doing yourself, believe me.
"I could start fires with what I feel for you."
You’re a lovely soul,
and I hope you see
what I see in you.
"But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are."
1. When your friends ask you to hangout, and you don’t feel like it, don’t go. Don’t ever do things halfway or do something that makes you uncomfortable. With everything, give all of yourself, even the pieces you never knew existed.
2. It is okay to not know. Everyone always despises the phrase, “I don’t know” but no one tells you that it is okay to not know. The becoming is more important than the being, anyways.
3. If someone ever makes you feel less, in any way, you have every right to walk away. You have every right to cut out toxic people in your life. To close the door on people who make you feel bad about who you are or what you stand for. Friends don’t tear down, they build up.
4. Loss is always going to happen. Just like paint will always chip and rain will always fall, loss will always be part of life. No matter how much I don’t like it, or avoid it, it is going to walk my way at several times in my life. Learn to embrace it and learn to get closure.
5. Give yourself a chance. Stop saying, “I don’t think I can” or “But what if I am not able to?” and give yourself a chance. This may be cliche, but try to believe in yourself. When you get older, your knees won’t work the same and you won’t have the best memory, and you are going to wish you’d given yourself a chance years sooner.
6. Fall in love. Don’t be guarded before you fall in love. You could fall in love three times and still not find the right one, but none of it is going to make “the one” matter less. Don’t fall into that idea that your first love has to be your best love. Fall in love as many times as it naturally happens.
7. Firsts are going to be messy. First loves, first kisses, first dates, first failed tests, first college class, first time you drive a car, first time you ride a plane - first times were made to be imperfect. Just because it’s messy and all over the place, doesn’t mean it can’t be good or worthwhile.
8. You want another scoop of ice-cream? Go get it. Get three more scoops of ice-cream if that is what you want. “Fat” is not the opposite of beautiful and it is not the opposite of happy. Don’t let anyone tell you that your body type isn’t beautiful. Beauty is a social construct, create your own, become your own.
9. Let yourself be alone. Loneliness is not a bad thing. It is healthy and normal. Everyone needs to spend a good portion of their life alone. We learn who we are when we are alone; life is less crowded and more clear when we are alone.
10. If you aren’t happy where you are, change it. Quit your job, move, become a vegetarian, get a new hobby, pick up an old hobby, whatever you do - make sure it benefits you. Life is too short to not be alive, to not be passionate, and overflowing."
By the end of the day,
the stars will continue illuminating throughout the night,
the earth will keep spinning round and round,
and time doesn’t ever stop for anyone,
so neither should you
for you are a darling
and you should take care of yourself
before you destroy the concept of self-love
through someone else.
"What she really craved was a connection. That feeling you got when you knew you were supposed to be with someone."
"I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them."
You make me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling and it’s unfortunate because when you find someone you can connect with, but know you can’t pursue them for personal reasons. It sucks only because it’s so rare to come across people that make me feel the way you do.