March 2012
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You used to make my heart beat fast for the first time in forever, and allow my imagination to run to see what it would be like with you, but that all drifted ashore and everything completely vanished. My heart no longer felt the same. You were the only person who never hurt me. And thank you for that. Thank you for never hurting me and I hope you’ve been well because I never wished you a...
How do people love someone else if they don’t love themselves enough? It’s something I’ve always pondered upon because does it mean that they’ll start learning to love themselves by loving someone else? But why do they have to wait until someone else to come along to start learning to love themselves? Is it because the other person starts to teach them to adore themselves...
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Let’s grab some coffee. Perhaps, some tea. With a bang of heart-to-heart talks. Under the stars, during the night with its coldness rushing through our skin like little trickles of rain running from the heaven above. Let’s embrace the unfolding stories you have to tell and let’s talk until we have nothing left to say. Reveal your darkest, coldest tale and allow me in. In that...
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I guess I’m not sad. Nor am I happy. Or angry. Perhaps, just in between happy and sad. Perhaps, everything have become numb. Perhaps, nothing really appeals me. Perhaps, I’m not looking for the light, but rather the darkness. Just like the sun and the moon, I’d prefer the moon over the sun. Why? Because I like the darkness. More than the light.
Tomorrow will be the second time I’m donating blood. Yay, I’m quite excited.
February 2012
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It’s so hard not to cry when someone hit all your weak points and even though you try not to admit it, it just pours out and now, I can’t stop crying.
“The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it...”
– Goldie Hawn (via f1resong)
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I’m starting to forget the sound of your voice, the smirks on your face, the way you laugh, the way you smile, and slowly, surely I’m forgetting everything about you. I’m starting to forget the way you walk, the way you eat your food, the way you sleep, and the way you gently used to caress me with your words. I’m starting to forget fragments of you. I’m slowly fading...
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Is it weird that I’ve never held hands with a guy yet? Lolol and I’m seventeen. Oh… People find it surprising when I tell them that. Why?!
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I am uninspired. Unmotivated. Exhausted. Simply, filled with nothingness.
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I can never allow anyone to see me in my most vulnerable state physically, ever. I just can’t because I wouldn’t know what I’d do if someone did. As odd as it may be, I just can’t allow anyone to ever see that side of me. Nobody have seen that vulnerability I have, not even my family members. That’s how bad it can be. I can only allow a person to see my...
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You’ll meet people who walks in your life and magically change your whole world. You’ll meet someone who you only talk to once, but made such impacts in your life for doing so. You’ll meet people who hurt you and destroy you. You’ll meet people who leads you on because you’ve liked them. You’ll meet people who likes hurting others because they know what...
It’s amazing what fame can do to a person.
“Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then...”
– Karen Marie Moning (via dominasiann)
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Breathe. Breathe, Lily. Breathe. You’ll be fine. You’ll be okay. You’ll eventually stop shaking. Just hang in there. You’re so much stronger than you think.
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I want to vent. I want to vent. I want to vent. I want to vent, but who do I go to? Who do I turn to? I feel like I’m about to explode with so many things to say. With so many things I want someone to hear and genuinely listen. To someone who won’t toss my story aside and forget it the next day. To someone, but I can’t. I refuse. I can’t let down my guard to anyone, nobody....
Anonymous asked: I can't stop thinking about him and I haven't cried over him, but I just feel as if I'm on the verge of tears every single fucking day. Whenever he passes by me, he never says hi anymore. He never hugs me, he never looks at me, and when he does, he immediately looks away. I miss him. I miss his warm hugs, his whispered voice, the way he would sing sometimes when a song he liked came...
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You’re such an asshole. I don’t even know why I associated myself with you or even became friends with you. You complain about being so alone so many times and you clearly know why you are. It’s because you “push” people away because you’re picky or because you’re scared. No, it’s more like you’re just an asshole who’s shallow with who...
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Let’s bake cookies. Let’s cook dinner or lunch. Perhaps even breakfast. Let’s run outside and play around. Let’s lay under the stars and count them endlessly until we’re too tired. Let’s sing to our heart’s content. Let’s play hopscotch. Let’s go find a swing and swing. Let’s laugh until our eyes water and our cheeks hurt. Let’s...
You’re a beautiful, beautiful flawed person and you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel any less than what you deserve to feel. You’re a beautiful, beautiful human creature. Please don’t feel any less than what you should feel.
I want to go to a coffee shop and just relax a bit there. Perhaps, observe people a bit here and there. Breathe in the air that surrounds me by inhaling and exhaling the crisp morning air. It would be absolute solitude in my own little world. It’d be extremely nice right now.
One day, I will own all The Big Bang Theory seasons on DVD and I wouldn’t regret buying it at all. Yeah. That is all.
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Gosh, I love Christina. That is all.
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i think were tired right
Me: The muscles make him cute, he's like
me: ns ns ns ns
lily: ns ns ns? wut
me: oops, i mean
me: uns uns uns uns
lily: what is that?
me: you know, clubbing music
me: UNS UNS UNS UNS
lily: you mean
lily: unf unf unf unf?
me: no no like
me: NNS NNS NNS
lily: .......
lily: i get you
lily: your sound effects are so weird though
lily: UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE?
me: oh yeah! that's it
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obseo:
so i was talking to lily and complaining about how my sanwhich was ending and she gave me this sad face dude….and i was like no he’s too happy he should be crying…so i changed it and things got a bit out of control oops
only because she said i made him ugly the second time.
the third one has a sanwhich on it.
LOL, ISN’T CHRISTINA SO CUTE FOR DRAWING ON HIM?! HAHA, I DIED...
Anonymous asked: what show was that from?
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I miss you. I miss you in the most innocent phase. I miss our late night talks and you venting to me. I miss you actually confiding in me and telling me everything because I cared so much about you. I miss you because you actually contributed to my life and made the efforts to know me even though I knew you better than how much you knew about me. I miss you because even though I was crumbling...
Anonymous asked: what do you do when you are sad?
Anonymous asked: How do you think being illiterate would affect your life?
I think out of everything, I miss you when you were humble and you stayed beautiful. I miss you when you were kinder, genuine, and just absolutely wonderful. I miss you when you didn’t have a lot of people around you because you gave me more of your time when I needed it. I miss you when you didn’t allow things to get to your head and for you to follow the crowd. I miss you when you...
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When you tell me you love me, I won’t believe you. Why? Because truly, “I love you” shouldn’t be taken for granted. Nor should it be thrown around uselessly, aimlessly, and meaninglessly. When you tell me you love me, I won’t believe you. Merely because you say it so loosely and I can’t take it seriously. I just can’t. When you tell me you love me, I...
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I drool a lot when I laugh and if you hang around me enough, you’ll start noticing me saying “Oh crap, I accidentally drooled from laughing.” Or you’ll just start noticing that I do drool when I laugh a lot. I don’t know why I do, but it happens frequently at random times.
Recommend me Asian dramas to watch, please.
I’m running out of things to watch and I finished watching My Lovely Sam Soon for like the fourth time. Yeah, fourth. It’s a personal favorite of mine, HAHA. Okay, yeah. Please?
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I want to travel. I want to go to every major amusement parks I can when I travel. I want to open a cafe/ bakery. I want to go to every aquarium in the world. I want to explore the city life and night life. I want to eat a lot of good food. I want to collect every postcards to every place I visit and store them in a precious box, so I can keep it as a reminder with dates on every postcards. I want...
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I feel like I don’t have time to catch up with anyone or associate myself with anyone. I just constantly focus on my education, sleep, eat, keep myself clean, and the routine repeats. It’s just a bit overwhelming not being able to talk to people on the daily because I’m so absorbed into my work and I can’t make time because I don’t know how to time manage between my...
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Sorry for being such a complicated person. Sorry for being an unstable person. Sorry for caring and worrying too much about you when I shouldn’t have in the first place. Sorry for existing in your life when I could have knew that you didn’t want me there in the first place.
bcuzimj asked: How's your penis? <3
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Whenever I talk about a certain topic and it’s something I’m currently struggling with and I’m sharing it with someone who I absolutely care for and actually trust, I end up crying. I end up crying because I feel so less alone.
It’s so easy to find someone who’ll fall out of love with you just as fast as when they fell in love with you. Or thought it was “love.” Oh, the irony.
I’m trying to be happy. Trust me when I say this. But I guess I’m not trying hard enough. So, I’m trying to be happy. Believe me, okay?
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California weather.
Morning: HOLY SHIT its freezing.
Afternoon: Who the fuck set the earth on fire.
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It just shows who’s really there and who really cares. I’m quite surprise how easy you can drop me and how easy you pick me back up on the tab. It’s amazing how selfish people can be, but it’s alright. I’ll manage. You’re just another person who destroyed a part of my trust that we built so strongly within the few years we’ve grown to known each other. I...