January 2012
I hate the mixed feelings of where I want to cry, but then I can’t. I hate the feeling where everything feels so bitter, yet numbed. Everything feels a mess, but there’s nothing to clean up after. Everything’s just too hazy to think right now.
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People complain too much. People whine too much. Learn to appreciate what you have and who you have rather than drown yourself in a shit hole and keep thinking you have a shitty life when you’re probably exaggerating the problems you have. Shit, I’m just saying to learn to be grateful for everything you have because one day, you might lose it all, then you’ll have nothing left....
I’m a coffee and tea type of person.
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Anonymous asked: So, none of those two guys went to your school? You have never met them in person? :-\
December 2011
Lul, the awkward moment when someone reblog a post that’s personal and it probably has no relation to them whatsoever because they don’t know the story behind it. Oh?
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Two perspectives.
I remember the nights you reek of alcohol and drank yourself to sleep. I remember the nights you cried yourself to sleep with that broken heart of yours. I remember the words you spoke, drunken sober thoughts and then, I remember the terror; the yelling, the tears, the shattered wine glasses, the knives, the violence, and horror of everything. I remember the emotions running through your heart,...
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Anonymous asked: Who were the two people you had intense feelings for? You don't have to say their names but you can describe. :O
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jiffylube asked: What is it like to star in pornographic films? I heard most actors fake their orgasms, but is this the case with you? Are you fulfilling this career as a form of self pleasure or for the satisfaction of your fans?
I’m glad to see you doing fine without me. I told you. You’d manage to do it without me. Good job.
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I just suddenly randomly, miss you and I’m not suppose to. It’s hard to get over you especially when you walk in and out of my life as you please. Such random occurrence of you keep appearing in my head and I keep hoping you’re okay because I know lately you haven’t been. I really do miss you and it kills me because I know I can’t do anything about it even if I told...
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I told you so. I told you that I’m going to walk away one day without you knowing why. I told you that I’m really good at pushing people away. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. I really did. I have my own reasons for the things I do and the things I don’t do. There are always going to be reasons why I did certain things and why I didn’t. Why do I push people...
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bluejaysong asked: Tag, you’re it! Here are the rules: Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them. No tag back.
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My sister and I gave my Dad a belated Merry Christmas present and to see his smile? It was worth it. It was worth every cents, every moment of it. He was so happy and so was my Mom with her gift. It’s the magic of Christmas, whether it’s late, early, or just in the exact moments. To see my Dad smile like that was really beautiful and I wouldn’t trade any other moment for...
What's a good Asian drama to watch?
I finish all my Asian dramas too fast. Lul, /)____x. I probably watched most of the things you guys would suggest, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
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There are many times, I’m blogging a post, but then I erase everything that’s there. Why? Because I realized it’s not worth it anymore. It’s not worth being said, it’s not worth being able to remember those memories I’ve long wanted to forget even though I know I can’t ever forget them. It’s just memories I should stop running back to and memories I...
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Being numb can have a lot of damages once emotions start to settle in. This hurts entirely so much and I wish I was able to not grow numb so many times because this is the consequences once I let emotions hit me. I end up reaching my breaking point and I become emotionally unstable.
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A comforting hug would be really nice right now.
Assumptions.
People really assume too much. It really messes with their head and honestly, it’s just ridiculous when people assume. If something’s bugging you, come straight clean with it rather than to keep it to yourself or tell someone else. There’s a source to your assumption, so go to it. Assuming will get you nowhere and it’ll only lead to misconceptions. More than half the time,...
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I really want to get away from everyone right now. I feel like I’m on the brink of becoming insane right now. I really want somewhere I can escape to and just be allowed to let go of all my thoughts, of all my emotions, and just observing everything around me. The littlest details to the greatest. I want to have a moment of where everything seem so beautiful to me, yet so bitter all at once....
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You remember the way she smiles. You remember the way her voice sounds. You remember the way she embraces you when you’re feeling your happiest or your saddest. You remember the date of her birthday. You remember her favorite colors and food. You remember what she dislikes/ hates and likes/ loves. You remember the way she holds herself and the way she dresses. You remember the way makes you...
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It’s one of those night where everything just feels so empty. There’s something missing, but I don’t know what it is and emptiness seems to love me tonight. Surely, I’m slowly losing control of my own emotions and thoughts. I’m struggling to put these emotions and thoughts into words, so I’ll stop here. I can’t force what I feel into words because...
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Everyone’s complicated in their own ways. It’s not just a specific gender that’s complicated. It doesn’t mean that girls are more complicated than boys, they’re just one way each. Human are complicated and that’s going to be that. I mean, why base a specific gender and argue which one is more complicated to understand or deal with? I just simply think...
I want to go ice skating.
Never destroy yourself for one person.
Never wreck yourself for one person because it’s never worth it. People tend to forget that and it’s saddening to see themselves be shattered just because of one person. You should never forget your own worth even when you’re with someone. You’re still you’re own person and you are your own worth. Even if it feels like the end of the world just because of one person,...
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They say everyone grows weak at one point and slowly, surely I’m getting there. Being strong all the time sure is tiring. Actually, it’s very exhausting. It’s the same cycle every time. I grow fragile and vulnerable, then I build myself to become stronger, yet it always happens. I always fall apart on some random days, then randomly I’m okay again. They say, what...
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Thoughts been running through my mind constantly. Running and running until it has nothing left to think of. Emptiness is devouring me and I can’t seem to fix it.
Why is Brian Puspos so cute? Ugh.
When thing goes wrong, I just learn to take the bad with the good. No point of dwelling or trying to mend it. What’s broken is broken for a reason and if it’s meant to be fix, it’ll slowly fix as time comes. Sometimes, people dwell too long on things that goes wrong that they don’t see what can go right for them. It’s like when one door closes, another door is always...
You’d be surprise how high my tolerance level is with people, but once you keep pushing my button and my limit, I will be a fucking douchebag to you. That is all.
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You’re clueless, aren’t you? You’re too full of yourself and I’m slowly getting fed up with your stupidity. There’s a reason why I’ve been keeping my distance from you, yet you still don’t get it. There’s a reason why I stopped putting efforts and everything seems half-assed. There’s a reason for all this, yet you refuse to acknowledge it. You...
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I remember making a confession to someone I really liked and my confession was really cheesy, but in the end I still got rejected. I confessed to a really good friend of mine who I hung out with for a month. It was Valentine’s day and I gave him pastel stars inside a really cute jar. I made 143 pastel stars as my confession. It was suppose to mean, “I like you” instead of...
yanrwtb:
There’s a lack of substance in people who have not acquainted themselves with struggle. Those who have yet to explore how deep the depths of pain can be, I’ve noticed that most of them possess a deficit in their wisdom. These are the people who have never known anything but happiness.
I like conversing with people who have endured tribulations. These people have a complexity to them...
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Anonymous asked: i wonder what are the reasons you broke up with your exs?
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My heart will always have a place for you and only you. It’s pathetic of me because I know that you will never come back to me, but even if it’s just as friends, I’m willing to allow myself get hurt again for you. Why do I do this to myself? Because that’s how much you mean to me. You still mean a lot to me even when we don’t talk as much as we used to. I still care....
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When I see Kathy again, I’m punching her tits. Yeah, that’s right. I said her tits. Hi.
A friend once asked me, “Would you rather date a person with a way of words or a person with a way of actions?” And I definitely choose the latter. As much as it’s nice to hear words spew out a person’s mouth, words don’t mean anything if it’s not fulfilled. Words are really nice and I love it when a person has a way with words, but if you can’t follow...
blackcarbs:
people who truly have genuine hearts don’t have to try and show that they have one. and it’s not like they’re trying to hide it either, or be modest about the goodness in their hearts.
you see, it’s pretty explanatory. definitely effortless.
when someone has good intentions, it shows through their actions. when a genuine heart loves you, you can feel it from their vibes. it’s all...
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You’re clingy. It’s unattractive. So, please learn to back off and give me the space I need. I find that if people become too clingy, it makes me get annoyed or irritated easily because I find that type of trait unattractive. Especially when they start depending everything on me and expect me to be there for them whenever. They say expectations leads to disappointments, right? Well,...
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Immaturity and ignorance will always exist whether we like it or not. It’s everywhere.
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Anonymous asked: in your thought, what's the different between being in love and just being in an idea of being in love? maybe you had through it before, so please explain more i wanna know.
People aren’t your happiness. You are your own happiness. Remember that.
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Are you really happy or are you obsessed with the idea of being happy? Are you really loving someone or are you just obsessed with the idea of love? Are you really in pain or are you in love with the idea of pain? Are you really sad or do you love the sympathy you gain from people? Think twice of the things you say or feel because sometimes, it might not be what you think it is. It’s scary...
What's a tear-jerking, good movie?
It could be k-movie, j-movie, and etc. I just want a movie that can make me cry. I feel like in the mood to watch some sad movie, lul. Or Asian dramas good too ~ Although I have to warn you that the Asian dramas you recommend are probably ones I’ve already seen since I watch so many of them, teehee.